02/ 01/ 2008
by Charles R. McConnell
Many romantic involvements, including long-lasting relationships and short-lived romances, begin on the job. It's mostly at work that people meet other people. Sure, there are other places and opportunities for becoming acquainted with individuals of the opposite sex, but none that place people in close proximity to each other for anywhere near the length of time available on the job. Many solid, life-long marriage relationships have resulted from romances that began at work, but also many illicit affairs have likewise started with business friendships and relationships (surveys have shown that the majority of extramarital affairs start at work).
Whether a manager or business owner is tolerant of, resistant to, or indifferent to romantic relationships in the workforce, and whether such are considered good or bad overall, one fact remains: As long as a company has a mixed-gender workforce, romantic relationships will be difficult to control and almost impossible to prohibit. In some companies all employee romances are frowned upon for what appears to be sound, logical reasons:
- In-house romantic relationships can increase the likelihood of sexual harassment charges. Employee dating (as long as it's not contrary to policy) and even flirting can be acceptable when consensual. Recall, however, that sexual harassment is defined in part as certain conduct that is "unwanted, unwelcome and repeated." So if Mr. Smith asks Miss Jones once for a date and is turned down, there's nothing wrong. But if Smith asks again and again in spite of Jones' refusals, this can be construed as sexual harassment. Also, romantic involvements that go sour can lead to sexual harassment charges as one party attempts to damage the other.
- Such relationships are seen as adversely affecting the productivity of those involved. This isn't always a strong concern but it can be at times, especially when a relationship is ending.
- There is the risk of reduced morale on the part of other workers who perceive favoritism or conflict of interest in such relationships. This is invariably a factor when an employee is romantically involved with a manager, or for that matter, with any other employee who has some measure of control over assignments or working conditions. It's extremely difficult for two people to keep their relationship completely hidden from those they work with every day, and even if they strive to keep all favoritism out of the equation there will still be the perception of favoritism, which can be fully as damaging.
- There is the possibility of retaliation occurring when a relationship goes wrong. Some of the messiest sexual harassment cases started when a manager who was involved with a subordinate terminated the relationship, prompting the subordinate to retaliate against the manager -- and against the company. It's worth remembering that since the manager is legally considered an agent of the employer, the company can be held liable for the harassment even if higher management never knew it was occurring. Also, in some extreme instances retaliation following a terminated romance has resulted in workplace violence.
Most work-based romantic relationships go unregulated. Even though it's advisable to have a written policy that addresses employee dating, some three-fourths of companies have no such policy. This is undoubtedly so because, realistically, no policy can outright ban employee dating without running afoul of serious privacy issues. Except in very special circumstances, what employees do on their own time is none of the employer's business. Although it's not easy to prohibit workers from forming romantic relationships, there are some steps that can be taken to keep such relationships from becoming troublesome.
Not many present-day workplaces actually try to ban employee dating. However, some employers have policies that:
- Discourage employee dating, and specify that any such relationships that do exist must be conducted in a manner that doesn't interfere with work;
- Prohibit any such relationships that involve manager and subordinate, whether on or off the job (a manager-and-subordinate romantic involvement is one area in which an employer can legitimately dictate off-the-job behavior);
- Prohibit the hiring of a spouse, either in the department of the other spouse or anywhere in the company (concerning employees who meet on the job and marry while employees, some companies require one of the spouses to leave or at least accept transfer to another area where there will be no working contact between spouses);
- Advise employees of the applicable portions of the company's sexual harassment policy, pointing out, for example, that repeated requests for a date can be construed as behavior that fits the "unwanted, unwelcome and repeated" definition of sexual harassment.
