08/ 06/ 2007
by Pamela Mills-Senn
When an important member of your staff doesn't get along with coworkers, all of the talents that person brings to the job pale in comparison to the animosity he creates. This situation is common and can be disruptive for any size company, but it presents special concerns for small-business owners. They can't afford to lose a skilled employee or ignore the complaints of their unhappy staff who can't easily escape their irritating coworker.
Let's be clear--we're not talking about prosecutable harassing or abusive behavior; we're talking about someone who rubs people the wrong way. Maybe this is someone who interrupts or is a one-upper. Perhaps the employee buttonholes people at every opportunity, sharing way too much information about his personal life or grilling coworkers about theirs. Maybe he has to have his own way—all the time. Or perhaps he is an antisocial loner who comes across as spooky and disturbed. Whatever the behavior, this person isn't playing well with others on your staff, and more than likely, some have started begging you to jettison the disliked party.
This puts you in a pickle. On the one hand, if the problem is so acute that performance is being compromised, you should be concerned, even if you value the employee's abilities. On the other hand, is it fair--or even a good idea--to cave in and fire the person?
Depending on state laws, firing may not be an option. And hoping the problem goes away on its own is a fool's dream--and a dangerous one to boot.
"This will inevitably lead to a crisis and could even cause a mass exodus of people from the company," said business consultant, Todd Creager, founder of the Todd Creager Center For Successful Relationships, based in Huntington Beach, Calif.
Noah Blumenthal, founder and president of Leading Principles, Inc., a consulting company located in New Hyde Park, N.Y., agreed, describing this situation as, “a virus or poison that can slowly eat away at the health of the organization.”
Of course, you must investigate before acting to determine if your staff has a legitimate gripe or is just ganging up on a perfectly acceptable employee. If your detective work confirms their accounting of the situation, take heart. It's possible to turn things around and salvage both the employee and your sanity. Consider the following strategies:
Exploring communication differences
Bill Lampton, president of Championship Communication in Gainesville, Ga., believes these situations arise not necessarily because of personality issues but because of communication differences and misunderstandings around these differences. He subscribes to the DISC system, which describes the four following communication styles:
- Dominance: This person is directive, take charge, no-nonsense.
- Imaginative: Life of the party, jokester. Shares a lot.
- Steadiness: Team player, loyal and collaborative.
- Compliance: By-the-book stickler. Resists change.
You can see how these different styles might bump up against each other. Lampton says there is no right or wrong style and that all contribute positively to the organization. He suggests having employees take the DISC survey online and then holding a seminar to educate them about these different styles. This could result in greater understanding and tolerance, and help restore harmony.
Facilitating behavioral change
Personalities may be set, but behavioral change is highly possible, says Blumenthal, who has developed the Circle Strength Model for Behavioral Change, which incorporates the following three sources of strength (business owners must work with and coach the employee):
- Identify the desired change. Set goals and develop a strategy for change.
- Build support. Engage others in the effort. They can support the change and provide encouragement.
- Take action on the strategy.
For example, in the case of an employee who always takes the negative, the strategy might be that he begins discussions by saying, "What's working well?" Or, for a loner, it could be that in the morning he walks around and greets everyone. Change should be undertaken incrementally and built upon
"You can do more than just counsel the employee," Blumenthal says. "You can make behavioral standards a part of your performance evaluation; you can set behavioral expectations."
Clarifying expectations
Sometimes conflicts between employees happen because behavioral expectations are not clearly stated, says Libby Wagner, president of Seattle-based Professional Leadership Results, Inc.
"Bosses will be clear about technical skills, but they're typically not so clear about interpersonal skills," she explains. "They'll say 'We're team players,' or 'We support one another,' but they don't get specific enough on what 'support' means or what ‘team player' means."
You must spell out the behaviors that constitute a team player, for example, "you will pitch in and help others with work when your own is done," or "you will respond to coworker requests within X-amount of time," Wagner says.
Clarifying your expectations around the kind of attitude you want to see on the job (cooperative, helpful) is also reasonable, Wagner says, adding that, again, you must specify what it means to be “cooperative” and “helpful.”
It seems like a lot of work, but it can ward off problems and help your staff excel, she says.
"The degree to which you're not specific, the person will have to guess," Wagner explains. "And even the person with the greatest of intentions will get it wrong sometimes. And then you're not happy, and they don't get the chance to be excellent."
The problem could be nothing more than differing expectations/interpretations among coworkers, Wagner says. Business owners should examine if they've set the stage for this situation by failing to put the proper infrastructure in place. At the same time, she adds, it's also important to equip people with the necessary skills for compromise and negotiation, which will help them become problem solvers on their own accord.
Eliciting help
"I would let the staff know you hear their concerns, and that you are going to try to work with the disliked employee, but that firing is a last resort," Creager says. "And then say, 'But I need something from you. I need your patience, and I may need more from you later.'"
Asking your staff to become more interpersonally flexible, for example, adopting a softer view of the disliked person and treating him as if he were likeable can result in significant change, Creager says.
At the same time, bosses need to solicit help from the disliked employee, he continues.
"The owner has to see the best in this employee, see him as someone whose true intent isn't to annoy before he confronts him," Creager explains. "And then he should tell the employee he needs his help in order for his business success. He should tell him the general reaction others are having to him, and that he needs to change a few patterns."
Say the person never listens to others. The business owner could tell this employee to go out of his way to ask people their thoughts and opinions. Let staff members know you've had this conversation and ask them to notice and support the employee's efforts at change.
"Make this ongoing," he says. "Have the employee check back and let him know there may be more change required. The constant theme should be that you need to have a flourishing business, and so you need him to flex his emotional muscle."
What to do if the problem employee can't or won't change? These experts agree that in this case, you should probably let the person go--or encourage him to leave. Skills can be replaced, Creager says. But low morale can deal a deadly blow to your business' health.
