11/ 21/ 2006
by Emily McMackin
In business, perception is reality, and often you have only minutes to make a lasting impression. What you say is important, but what you don't say can mean even more. "We speak volumes without words," says Nicholas Boothman, a communications expert and author of How to Connect in Business in 90 Seconds or Less (Workman Publishing Company Inc., 2002).
Studies show that half of communication comes from what people see within the first seconds of any encounter. "If we like someone, we see their best and find opportunities to say yes," Boothman says. "If not, we look for their worst and create reasons to say no."
In the following scenarios, Boothman decodes the body language of small-business owners and weighs in on common mistakes.
You walk into a networking event, but don't see any colleagues you know, so you stand in the corner with your hors d'oeuvres and drink, searching for a familiar face.
Standing in the corner says "I'm closed for business" to potential customers, clients and partners. Pause at the doorway instead, say hello to the first person you see and walk directly to the middle of the room to appear approachable. Make eye contact to establish trust, and smile pleasantly to communicate confidence. Focus on those in front of you instead of your plate or glass to avoid looking bored and leave one hand free to shake hands. "Hiding your hands sends a subconscious signal that you're a threat," Boothman says.
An employee walks into your office to discuss a sensitive issue. As she talks, you lean back in your chair with your arms and legs crossed, staying silent until she finishes.
Mirroring the stance of the person with whom you are speaking shows empathy, so unless you invite your employee to sit down, too, leaning back in your chair may seem apathetic. Diffuse tension by getting on the same side of the desk as the employee so nothing is between you, Boothman suggests. Closed body language––crossing more than one body part––signals defensiveness, resistance and frustration. Open posture, gestures and expressions reveal cooperation, trust and comfort.
A disgruntled customer confronts you. You focus intently on the person at first, but soon your eyes drift. As he raises his voice and moves closer, you turn to the side, clenching your teeth and tightening your fists.
Staring at people in difficult conversations unnerves them, but letting your eyes wander signals disrespect. Boothman recommends looking away thoughtfully from time to time and synchronizing your body language to theirs to express concern. Stay an arm's length away, but keep your heart pointing toward theirs so you don't appear threatened. Avoid using more than one negative gesture at once and keep your palms open to signify honesty.
