05/ 26/ 2006
by Romanus Wolter
When you walk into a room, do you see someone who stands out from the crowd? You may have not spoken to that person, but you watch as people are drawn to his or her positive energy.
The way you feel about yourself, as opposed to how you try to look, sends silent signals to others before you utter a word. It tells people how you want to be treated. This unseen dialogue, known as "sizing one another up," reflects how you want people to treat you.
Without even realizing it sometimes, we sabotage new business relationships by thinking negatively. Our self-doubt dismisses brilliant ideas and partnerships before we even give them a chance to succeed.
The secret to success is learning from our experiences, good and bad, rather than letting them become the foundation for new efforts. Some tips for developing a positive attitude and attracting the success you deserve are:
Bring the best of yourself. There is no reason to inflate your self-image by trying to turn self-doubt into a strength by joking about your weaknesses or covering them up. You may believe this projects success, but in reality, it lowers your self-esteem. Any action you take to appear strong can be read by other people as an even greater weakness than it really is. Your conviction to your goals and your confidence to ask for help is all people you meet really expect.
Turn your "subconscious outcome meter" to positive. Avoid saying things like "It will be too much work" or "Someone else can do it better." When you attempt something new, release your past failures and turn off any negative background noise that is automatically triggered. As you uncover any negative thoughts, acknowledge them and then release them. You can't predict the future, so how do you know what you can and cannot accomplish?
Be your positive self. Instead of feeling that you need to control how people think about you, just state your goals and discover common ground. You don't need anyone's approval to achieve your dreams. Most people do not have the time to evaluate or judge; they are most interested in how they can help.
Take action even if you are confused. Catch yourself when you are about to act from weakness. If you feel vulnerable, accept it as a natural part of being human. The "but what ifs" you place on the end of our thought processes dampen your secret enthusiasm, even without you realizing it. Let reality throw obstacles in your way and resolve to discover the steps to overcome them.
Keep silent, then speak. Fear often makes us want to impress others. While participating in a conversation, cancel any undetected weaknesses by conducting a quick internal check before speaking. Does that remark you are about to make, or the answer you are about to give benefit the conversation? If not, keep silent. Silence is often stronger than words.
Simply recognize that you are in control. You may be able to blame others, but that just digs you deeper into self-doubt. You have accomplished a great deal in life and in your business—think positively and enjoy the outcomes.
Romanus Wolter is known by millions as "The Kick Start Guy." As Entrepreneur magazine's success coach and author of Kick Start Your Success and Kick Start Your Dream Business, Wolter provides action steps that close the gap between goals and success. Discover more by visiting www.KickStartGuy.com or e-mailing him at Romanus@KickStartGuy.com. Register for a free "Success Weekend" with Wolter in San Francisco by going to www.KickStartGuy.com/SuccessWeekend.htm.
