01/ 24/ 2006
by Kelle Campbell
American culture is generally informal, but following a few simple guidelines during business meals will win you points with colleagues, prospects and customers, plus increase your chances of better service when you "meet and eat."
Know the restaurant/club beforehand
If you're hosting the meal, image consultant Gloria Starr advises that you pick a place you're sure that your guests will like, and preferably a restaurant or club where you are known. Your frequent patronage will not only increase the likelihood of friendlier and more responsive service, it will also make you familiar with the ambiance, seating and amenities.
For example, you need to know if the venue's atmosphere will be in keeping with the purpose of the meeting, whether it's a quiet place for serious discussions, an elegant setting designed to impress or a boisterous venue in which to let your guard down. Also, Starr recommends avoiding locations with dim lighting in order to keep a business dinner from feeling like a date.
For a lunch meeting, know the times of the "lunch crunch" so that you and your guests can avoid the crowds and finish your meal in time for your next appointment.
Finally, hosts should let guests know of any dress codes. If the host does not volunteer this information, guests can ask or call ahead to the restaurant.
When to bring up business
"If you are all from one company, you can discuss business at any time," Starr says. Other than that, she notes that there are no hard-and-fast rules, and you should consider the location, the seniority and normal business culture of those present when talking business.
Susan Bixler, author of Professional Presence, advises that you wait until everyone at the table has placed their order before bringing up business. She also recommends saving the most important issues until after the main course. Letitia Baldridge, author of Letitia Baldridge's New Complete Guide to Executive Manners, says that if significant others are present, only about half the conversation should focus on business.
Baldridge also recommends that you don't cover the table with papers, files, laptop computers and other items. Starr thinks this is permissible if you are isolated in a booth, but it's best to keep work items off the table at the height of dining time, she says. It's also advisable not to answer your cell phone during your meeting. If you have to make a call, place your free hand over your mouth and the mouthpiece, so you don't disturb others, Starr says.
"Danger" foods
Some foods are hard to eat without potentially slurping or making a mess. This category includes soup, spaghetti, overstuffed sandwiches, anything that you eat with your fingers or anything that you have trouble maneuvering. Stay away from spicy foods, such as curry, Starr says, since they may offend people who have a strong sense of smell, and the odors often linger on you after the meal.
Tipping
A tip or gratuity is generally 15 to 20 percent of the bill, including alcohol, before tax. Opt for 20 percent in a highly rated establishment, or if you're entertaining a large party, and the gratuity is not automatically added to the tab.
Tipping varies according to the type of restaurant. In casual dining or moderately priced locations, the server generally receives 15 percent, and you also give a dollar tip to the valet or server who hails a cab for you.
A high-end venue will have more staff, such as a coat-check attendant, a ladies' room attendant, a men's room attendant, a maitre d' and so on. Give a dollar tip to the first three, and $10 to the maitre d', if you feel that he has taken good care of you and your guests. Besides tipping the server 15 percent, give the captain (the person who takes your order) another 5 percent.
Topics to avoid
If you're having dinner with your boss, potential boss or a potential client (or your parents, for that matter), it's always advantageous to watch your mouth. Not only should you be careful to not curse, you shouldn't bad-mouth your competition, an old boss or a coworker. And, you might want to skip over the topics of religion and politics.
If you're unsure about actual dining details, such as which fork to use, invest in a book on etiquette or contact a consultant to inquire about how-to seminars. You never know when a polished image will translate into greater opportunities.
