NFIB

How to Understand and Make Use of Body Language, Part II
05/ 03/ 2004


Writer Jeff Moses shares some body language messages to watch for as you interact with colleagues, employees, vendors and competitiors.

5) A person may not be speaking the truth (or the whole truth) when talking with hand over mouth, with eyes cast downward, when touching the face from time to time, or when shifting nervously.

How to make use of this type of body language: it's always beneficial to know when a person is lying (or at least, not telling the entire truth). It gives you the chance to check up on what's being said so that you can find out the complete truth of a situation.

6) A person may be in the process of rejecting what is being said when sitting back or pushing away from the table, when crossing the legs with thigh on knee (especially while arms folded over chest), or when unconsciously frowning.

How to make use of this type of body language: when you know that a person is in rejection-mode, you can draw them back into the conversation so they don't just shut off completely.

7) A person is willing to agree with or understand what is being said when stroking the chin thoughtfully, when crossing legs with ankle on knee, or when sucking on eyeglasses, pipe or pencil.

How to make use of this type of body language: this indicates that the person feels you are making sense. Don't change your style of presentation or argument. It's working.

8) A person is ready to agree and end the meeting when closing their notebook, or putting down papers or pen and placing the hands on the table in front of themselves and looking directly at the speaker.

How to make use of this type of body language: you may want to close the sale at this point, or simply stop trying to convince and let the other person express his or her feelings of agreement. A cardinal rule of sales and negotiation is to not keep trying to convince a person who is convinced and ready to agree to terms. You just might say something that suddenly "unconvinces."

9) A person is insecure when chewing on some small object (or even biting nails), when pinching the flesh of cheek or neck, or when biting the lips.

How to make use of this type of body language: there are numerous aspects to consider here. If you don't want the person to be uncomfortable, you have the opportunity to begin calming and reassuring the person. If the situation is such that you will benefit from making the person uncomfortable, you'll know that what you're saying or presenting is on the right track.

10) A person is feeling confident when leaning back with arms behind head, when placing the fingers of both hands together like a "steeple," when putting hands on suspenders or lapels, or when pursing the lips.

How to make use of this type of body language: if you're in an important negotiation, these body signals will indicate that the person feels he or she has one up on you, or at least is in a very secure position. If so, you might want to reconsider your own position, or re-examine the facts to see if your interpretation is correct.

The reading of body language is a science and an art, and this article covers only the barest essentials. Courses are given on how to interpret a person's body language, and entire books have been written on the subject. Gaining understanding of a person's inner thoughts and feelings is a worthwhile subject of study, because this can often help you understand more than by merely listening to what is said.

Some well-received books on the subject:

"Body Language Secrets: Read the Signals and Find Love, Wealth and Happiness" by Susan Quilliam
"Body Language (Teach Yourself)" by Gordon R. Wainwright

"How to Read a Person Like a Book" by Gerald I. Nierenberg

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