NFIB

How to Understand and Make Use of Body Language, Part I
05/ 03/ 2004


Intensity levels of face-to-face meetings can range from mild to severe -- and often in the heat of the moment participants unwittingly give away their feelings by unconscious displays of body language. Understanding this unspoken but very readable language can give you an edge in many situations. In this Workshop, contributor Jeff Moses offers a few fundamental but highly indicative signs to watch for.

1) One of the most basic and powerful body-language signals is when a person crosses his or her arms across the chest. In all situations, this indicates that a person is putting up an unconscious barrier between themselves and others. When the overall situation is amicable, it can mean that a person is thinking deeply about what is being discussed. But in a serious or confrontational situation, it can mean that a person is expressing opposition. This is especially so if the person is leaning away from the speaker. A harsh or blank facial expression often indicates outright hostility. Such a person is not an ally, and may be considering contentious tactics.

How to make use of this type of body language: when you see such body signals, you need to adjust your presentation to fit a hostile situation. If, for instance, you're negotiating salary with your boss or supervisor when you notice these signals, realize that he or she is not thinking favorably, and unless you act to overcome that feeling, your raise could be in question.

2) Consistent eye contact indicates that a person is thinking positively of what the speaker is saying. Lack of eye contact can indicate negativity. Eye contact is often a secondary and misleading gesture because we are taught from an early age to make eye contact when speaking. If a person is looking at you but is making the arms-across-chest signal, the eye contact could be indicative that something is bothering the person, and that he wants to talk about it. Or if while making direct eye contact a person is fiddling with something, even while directly looking at you, it could indicate the attention is elsewhere.

How to make use of this type of body language: depending on the situation, try to interpret what the person may be thinking or feeling. If you sense that they are upset about something, ask about their personal thoughts on the subject. If you sense that they're bored, guide the conversation to a different topic. When you have the advantage of reading inner feelings from body signals, encourage the person to express themselves. This will deepen communication, which in business is always a positive goal because fruitful communication leads to greater productivity within a company.

3) Disbelief is often indicated by averted gaze, or by touching the ear or scratching the chin. When a person is not being convinced by what someone is saying, the attention invariably wanders, and the eyes will stare away for an extended period.

How to make use of this type of body language: simply realize that the examples or reasoning you're using are not adequate to convince. Encourage the person to speak out any doubts so you can address them openly.

4) Boredom is indicated by the head tilting to one side, or by the eyes looking straight at the speaker but becoming slightly unfocused.

How to make use of this type of body language: when you see that a person is bored, move on to something else in the conversation because you're not getting anywhere with what you're presenting.

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